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Slowdive - Falling and Laughing
They come from Reading, they formed 11 months ago, and they've
just released the finest debut single of the year.
PAUL LESTER tries to get serious with SLOWDIVE, a band
who just can't seem to stop grinning for the cameras. Pic: STEPHEN SWEET
WATCH OUT! REACH FOR THE NEAREST NUCLEAR
BUNKER! MR ABUSING'S in the area!
"SCRUB my backside with a cheese-grater and coat it in
surgical spirit, slowdive? Very original, I don't f***ing think!
Have these anaemic students c***s spent the last two years
holidaying on Venus, or what? Slowdive?? Doesn't it occur
to these useless, skinny arsewipes that their name might
bear just the slightest resemblance to Swervedriver, Ride
and every song ever writtenby My Bloody f***ing Valentine?
Copycat twats!
Have a decent meal, put a bit of weight on, and get a proper job,
you clueless shit-for-brains! Spotty c***s!"
SLOWDIVE are either
possessed of superhuman amounts of self-confidence, or
they're out-and-out masochists. Why? Because the above
piece of flagellating nastiness comes from the mouths, not
of MM' s very own cross between Vlad The Impaler and
Attila The Hun, the inestimatable Mr Abusing, but of the
five Slowdive boys and girl themselves. And the reason
they've decided to compose such a auto-mutilating chunk
of bruised, purple prose? Because, as far as Slowdive are
concerned, Mr Abusing is God.
"He's brilliant," gushes
guitarist Christian Savill, the chap who apparently joined
Slowdive after writing a begging letter to singer Rachel
Goswell, and writer/guitarist Neil Halstead. "He should be
f***ing knighted, get the OBE-something! We've
spent the whole tour ripping off Mr Abusing."
"Yeah," agrees
bassist Nick Chaplin, former Duranie, and owner of a fine
Nick Rhodes fringe, 1981-style. "'Tear myarsehole with
industrial tape!'" Drummer Neil Carter muscles in on the
act. '''Swivel on a pole through a pile of pigshit!'" he starts,
aiming for Slowdive' s weak spot. "'Ignorant shitehawks!
They mess about with a few special effects and they think
they've created art! Gormless tossers! They wouldn't
know a delay pedal if it was rammed up where the sun
doesn't shine, f***ing losers!'"
Rachel, who tells me later on
that all she ever gets is acne-ridden, 15-year-old adolescent
males slobbering after her at gigs, and is presently 'Waiting
for somebody nice to come and sweep me off my feet," is
far too demure and ladylike to join. in the vitriolic banter.
But she does have one question about the whole sordid
business.
"who is Mr Abusing?"
NOW that would be telling. Suffice it to say that, after
perusing a recent mat Capital Radio, in which they were
described as "Fat egotistical bastards giving us f***ing
earache!" Run DMC had to be physically restrained from
jumping in the nearest taxi and coming over Blackfriars
Bridge to personally clobber our Mr A. It must be said,
however, that Slowdive' s obsession with the Maker's own
Alf Garnett-with-haemorrhoids, doesn't extend to the rest
of the paper. They like it, but they just don't always
understand it.
"Can I just ask you what 'Arsequake
speed-without-trajectory symposium' actually means?" says
Nick, baffled by the excitable review that made their
eponymous debut EP Single OfThe Week, in the
November 10 issue.
Christian: "It really annoys me when
music writers start finding things in records that weren't
there in the first place."
Neil Carter: "Yeah, that's just
imposing your ideas onto something."
Christian: "They
(hacks) force it down your throat sometimes."
Nick: "If you
wanna be massively arty about it, and say this is the
greatest thing since whatever, I love it with all my soul and
I'd die for it, then fine."
Christian: ''The only problem is,
when they say stuff like that, I never understand a lot
of the words they use."
Go and read some books, young
man!
"I went to public school, you know." A savage
indictment of Britain's private education system.
IT'S less
that Slowdive are ungrateful for the ravished gazes directed
their way since their inception in January '90, more that the
attention embarrasses and/or bemuses them. They don't
know why they're so good, nor do they have any idea just
what it is they did to make the "Slowdive" EP the most
delicious piece of plastic (45 rpm variety) of the year.
"If you knew, you might not like it any
more," says Christian, sitting on the basement Roor of
Manchester's Boardwalk, 10 minutes after playing a typically
brief, but thoroughly exquisite half-hour set upstairs.
"It's
justa feeling, one that maybe makes you feel good," adds
Neil Halstead, who tells me he wrote "Slowdive" and
"Avalyn" in about 60 minutes.
One Maker writer has said
he listens to both tunes in the bath. . .
"Yeah, a lot of bands
are into that really obvious melody and noise thing, but I
think we're going for a more ambient sound. It's not a
conscious move to fit in with the dance scene, but there
are porallels between what DJs are doing, removing the
beats from House tunes, and that sort of come-down
music we're trying to get."
Another writer has described
them as Cocteau Twins' demos. I take this to be a
compliment: the music on "Slowdive" has a gorgeous,
"unfinished" quality that makes you go back to it again and
again. There are no hooks, just slips and slides, and the kind
of melodic shilts that cause heart-pangs in the listener.
"Our music's a celebration of life. It' s got quite a druggy
feel," says Halstead, before inadvertently summing up the
luscious blend of languid melancholia and dazed el!phoria
that forms a film over their sound. "It's about feeling good
and feeling pissed off at the same time."
Rachel: "People say
it's brilliantto get stoned to, and that's great."
Nick: "It's
good f***ing music." Does he mean it's good f***ing music, or
it's good f***ing music? "It's music to have sex to."
Christian:
"My neighbour listens to it when she cycles to work.".
Neil
Halstead: "It's music for all occasions, really. No one's
slagged it off yet. Everyone seems to like it."
THIS isn't
arrogance, justa plain statement-of-fact. Right now,
Slowdive are bursting with so much promise you can see
the sparks flying off them.
"I'm gobsmacked," exclaims
Rachel, one-time gothette and winner of Reading's Best
Siouxsie Lookalike contest, in between performing Les
Dawson-ish gurning facial contortions for Stephen Sweet. "I
never thought we'd ever get anywhere. It's just. . . unreaL"
Did you ever feel that you were going to do something
brilliant with your life in your lacquer-and-eyeliner days?
"No! But I always wanted to do something special."
There's
a mystery x-factor that some people/groups are bestowed
with by some divine extraterrestial presence, a magical
essence that's both beyond their control, and our analysis.
Itcan't be contrived or worked towards. You've either got
it- in which case, flaunt it-or you haven't- in which case, you
mightas well give up now, because you're getting in the
way, and clogging up the path for future Slowdives to burn
along.
Christian: 'We wanna be timeless. We're still really
young, and we're going to get better. We haven't got a
masterplan, but soon people are going to start comparing
other bands to Slowdive."
Neil Halstead: "You know that
Byrds' boxed-set that everyone's writing about at the
moment?The best thing for Slowdive would be, in 10 or 20
years time, loads of reviewers saying, 'Rock' n' roll would
never be what it is without Slowdive'. That's my ambition."
Rock' n'roll wouldn't have been the same in 1990 without
Slowdive. will that do, Neil?
Originally appeared in Melody Maker December 15, 1990
Copyright © Melody Maker Magazine
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